WenchyNStar

You wouldn't believe it...

2007-01-25T16:35:00.000-08:00

If I told you...

BUT, Hey, let me try.

So, I was dating V for a few months, and the relationship left something lacking. To the point that I don't know that I would even call it a relationship as much as it was a friendship. She decided one day that we shouldn't date anymore because she needed to get her life together.

Ok.

A few days later she decides that she is going to move to Texas... in a week.

Ok.

I begin pursuing other avenues, better known as McHotty D.

V moves, but right before she moves she sees that I have moved on to McHotty D. That is when the her train leaves the station of sanity.

V says I love you, I want you to be my wife, I want you to be my girlfriend, Please wait for me, blah, blah, blah...

Jealousy or True Interest?

To her words of wisdom I say, "No." I am going to move on with my life as she should as well. Go get your life together I say. Go be with the people you truly love.

All with a hint of passive aggressiveness and a dash of anger because she made all of these decisions without my thoughts or feelings in the matter.

P.S. V says, "I am doing all of this for you. (heart, heart)"

Right. You are packing up your truck and abandoning this life... for me.

Can I exchange that gift please. Oh wait? Only store credit? SHOCKER!!

My thoughts are: when she leaves, I can continue to build a relationship with someone who is emotionally available, interested in giving 100%, and thinks outside of herself.

V leaves.

I move on, and on, and on. Text messages come through every once in a while from V, but I believe them to be

Jealousy.

McHotty D and I spend wonderful moments together, and the most important part is that I can count on her without feelings of walking on eggshells or waiting for the next bomb to go off.

Fast Forward to Yesterday...

V packs up her truck and drives back home because, "I have to be near her (me). I love her. I messed up."

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

I attempt to get her to turn around and go back, but to no avail; she arrived today, back in O'town.

Today, I get out to my car to find a rose on my car.
I get home to find a shirt for Star
-Interjection: it is very cute, "What happens at the dog park, stays at the dog park."
and with the shirt is a Grey's Anatomy CD (nothing like a little wrist slitting tunes to get you moving)

I send a text thanking for the shirt and cd, but something made me think the rose was not from her....

Me: Did you leave something on my car?
V: no

Dammit!

Ok, well it must have been from McHotty D...

Me: Thank you
McHotty D: For what?

DAMMIT!!!

Covering my ass...

Me: For being you
McHotty D: awww thanks, miss you

Continuing on the eliptical machine racking my brain, and I realize...

The first girl I dated after my 4 year crazy break-up...
today would have been a year...

Me: Did you leave something on my car.

Deju-vu

H: Yes. I hope it put a smile on your face.

DAMMIT. DAMMIT. DAMMIT. DAMMIT!!!!

In summation...

V: Moves back from Texas
McHotty D: so wonderful
H: returning again? really? please no.

Moral of the story...
When you lose 50 lbs., girls come a callin', a movin', a stalkin', and a lovin'!

Negative Layers with Positive Filling

2006-11-08T18:12:00.000-08:00

So often I look at what is wrong with life whether it is the damn vet bill for Star that reached almost a grand (BTW she is feeling much better- about 70% close to normal), having a student scream in the hallway, "I am so sick of your diking ass self!", or having my close friend and coworker of five years quit last week, that I forget to look at the positives.

On the phone today with my mom, I started to regurgitate all of the bullshit from my JOB, and eventually moved into what is going right.

1. I gave a sponsor of one of our clubs $10 to give to one of my students because she did not have money to eat on the field trip to visit a local college. Upon her return she wrote me a note:
"I don't know how you knew that I did not have money to eat. You must have super powers. You must be a super hero."

2. I am doing an activity or rather changing the set up of my class model to what is called Socratic Seminar. To put it in a nutshell, the students sit in a LARGE circle and discuss a piece of literature with a focus in mind; when they give their thought or opinion, they prove it with textual evidence. When they disagree with a peer, they have to disprove with textual evidence. It is amazing to watch these students come up with ideas that have never been reached in my 5 years of teaching the same story.

3. While I stood in the lunchroom today, a student whom I wrote up and is not even mine, came running towards me furious that I had gotten him in trouble. He was yelling that he did not commit the act that he was charged with. Before I knew it, two of my male students had him tackled to a chair telling him he better calm down because he does not talk to Ms. ... like that! The same student that tells me to F*CK OFF and the other who attempts to sleep in my class (until he is forced to stand) protected me.

I often refer to these students as pit bulls because they can turn on you so quickly, but my mom said that they are irrational and must be treated as such. She says that I am their parent and I have to act as though they are going to sh*t on me everyday so that when they are nice, I am pleased. I think there is a ton of validity to that because so often I take it personally when they tell me they are "sick of my diking ass," when really it has nothing to do with my DYKE ass (it is a nice one though ;)

In closing or IN Conclusion, like my students say, It is so very important to recognize the positives in a world layered with negatives because it will make you want to get your DYKE ass up and onto work for another day of super hero acts, protection from the most unlikely of characters, and a lesson provided with such thought provoking reactions that it could possible make a small tear form.

Damn Star!

2006-10-26T17:02:00.000-07:00

Star is my miniature Pincher; picture located below; my baby; my life on the weekends during the day at the dog park; my spooner at night; my couch partner; literally my baby.

Star's behavior:
Tuesday: Bitchy with her boyfriend Bailey who is her play buddy about 4 days a week. Extremely Sleepy. I thought, "It's the cold weather as she only weighs 8 lbs."

Wednesday: lethargic. Won't get out of my bed from underneath the down comforter. I thought, "My bed is comfortable, and it was still cold outside."

Thursday: lethargic. Won't eat. Won't get out of my bed. Won't jump off the bed. Won't really do anything. She cries or rather screams when she walks. She is shaking like she is in Fricken' Alaska!

VET Trip...

I am about to lose it; Sorted is attempting to sift us through the 5:00 traffic while wrapping his jacket around her to keep her warm; I am about to lose it.

You know you are a lesbian when:
You cradle your dog like an infant
You give death stares every time the front desk girl does not help you
You almost cry when they carry her off
You give death stares every time the front desk girl looks at you

An hour later...
You respond to the front desk girl by removing her head, stomping into the floor, and kicking it outside like a soccer ball; otherwise known as: "Uhh..Like...Can you sign this so we can give her the treatment she needs?"
"Sign WHAT? NO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER?"
"Like, they don't know yet. You need to sign this."
"THEY HAVE NOT SEEN HER YET? WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN DOING? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! .........................................................................................." I reach around, grab the back of her nappy ass hair, grip, pull, and her head is removed. My heel is digging into her skull putting it into the linoleum floor. Swipe, Brush, Woosh! Out the door!

Diagnosis:
Urinary Tract Infection

Cause:
"We don't really know."
Possibilities:
"It could be her food."
"Iams?"
"Oh, it's not her food; that is good food. It could be that urine is left on her VULVA."
Did she just say vulva? LMAO "Oh."
"But we don't really know."

It is a tremendous amount cheaper because I have doggy insurance that I pay monthly.
Original Bill: $286.54
My Bill: $53.86
Leaving that building with my dog two and a half hours later: PRICELESS

I would love to share the name of this vet clinic but PET if someone searches it out SM they will ART see that there are BAM negative comments about their company FI and if they are anything like BMW, I will get ELD nasty VE e-mails and TEN comments on my ARY blog HOS and PIT not like it should TAL matter, but it is more drama than it is worth. So much for FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

I don't know where...

2006-10-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

Where to begin?

When one's perception of a situation varies so much from the other, does one reflect on their own behavior or decide to not take responsibility for someone else's perception?

Is that too wordy?

The date was too wordy. In her opinion. In her perspective.
"You did not touch me once," she stated with such hurt and rejection in her voice.

Her perspective= no touch= not interested

Do I take responsibility for her feelings?

Spider, I know what you have already said; a resounding, "NO!" was your standpoint last night.

How about this:
A different date
A different person
Last Week
Said the same damn thing.

Again, I ask, do I take responsibility?

The other date, "V," said that you can feel the brick wall around me and that it is hard to date someone like that.

Lovely.

My perspective and the most important one in this whole situation is that I do not have to be physical in anyway with someone to be on a date with them, be considered interested in them, or to show them that I am attracted to them.

I am taking time out of my schedule to spend time with you for longer than an hour= interested and attracted. Stupid Fuck Asses!

Bitter
Angry
Misunderstood
Lonely
Sad

Party of One- Can I have a window seat to reflect?

Better yet... Can you both gain your self worth from something other than a physical touch?

Look at that! A response to my own question, and I agree with Spider.

P.S. Every week I have a moment where I really miss her. No, not the crazy one. The one that lives less than 4 miles from me. I wish time could stop; I could climb into her arms, and I could just lay there with no words then or later. Not possible, but she would let me just be me.

Please read; Need Help!!

2006-10-21T07:08:00.000-07:00

Since the age 14, I have never been single. I found acceptance and love in my ability to stay in relationships. Now 29 years old, I am living the single life by choice and enjoying it thus far. It is a great way to get to know one's self, and it is a fabulous way to meet a lot of people. As a lesbian, there is one problem.

See research:

Washington Times, 11/19/91, p. A3: "10 percent of American men are homosexual and 5 percent of women are lesbian."

Yes, it is a small world as I found out last week.

But what is a single girl to do?

I have two very close friends: one is a "best friend" that I talk to everyday and I would jump in front of a bus for; the other is a close friend that calls me for advice EVERYDAY and I spend time with about once a week. Different friends and Opposite Friends.

My "bestie" and I would never even consider the following situation because it just would not happen. We would both drop out of the race. What is the race?

Race:
1. Wenchy gets hit on by hot, blonde, femme at the Pride Parade.
2. Numbers exchanged.
3. Wenchy calls close friend who we will call Devil for reasons stated later.
Wenchy: "Devil, do you know a girl named, "T"?
Devil: "No, well, let me think about it."
4. Wenchy talks to "T" a few times setting up a date plan.
5. Devil calls Wenchy the following day.
Devil: "I know a "T", but I am sure it is a different one; this one is a personal chef. We are supposed to go out tomorrow. I met her last Wednesday."
Wenchy: "DAMMIT TO HELL! IT IS THE SAME ONE!"
6. Conversation continues about the situation where we laugh about the absurdity of it all.

You see, we are complete polar opposites- the Devil and I. She works in the bar industry; she has short ever changing colored hair, a wild, crazy personality, and tattoo sleeves (see example photo).

7. Devil states the following: "She is interested in the both of us because you are the ANGEL and I am the DEVIL."

"T" has now met up with the Devil two times for drinks. My first meet up with her is Sunday: meeting her at her house and going to dinner. Devil has drinks; Angel has dinner. Devil meets at the bars; Angel picks her up at her house.

I do not like this situation at all. The Devil gets more girls than a gynecologist while me, I am shy and reserved thus move at a much slower pace- the Angel. I asked her to drop out of the race for our friendship and because it wasn't fair to the girl. She told the girl what was going on and continues to spend time with her.

I am thinking about canceling the date. HELP!! SUGGESTIONS????

Is there such a thing?

2006-09-22T14:36:00.000-07:00

Is there such a thing as posting a blog that is:

Too Foul
Too Gross
Just Too Much?

Is there a boundary of which we do not cross?

Well here we go...

Are you ready?

You sure?

Ok.

I have had many evening adventures lately, and last night takes the cake. I was at a local artsy bar with a few lesbians having some pre-concert cocktails when one of them started a conversation about the appearance of her exgirlfriend.

No, not her pretty face.
No, not her buff figure.
But her lady parts.

"Roast Beef Curtains," she said with a look of horror and disgust.
I gave the same face as I could not believe these words had just come from that pretty mouth of hers.

"Looks like a pit bull grabbed, shook, mauled, and chewed on it!"

Too Foul?
Too Gross?
Too Much?

Or just shockingly funny?

ED. Note: My original google search returned a picture that was just not suitable and literally made me get up from my chair and walk away from the computer with Sorted laughing with shock and dismay along with me. Feel free to search it if you are brave.

Who does that?

2006-09-20T16:35:00.000-07:00

Student constantly late to class amongst other issues.

Phone call home.

Parent states, "She's fat."

She is NOT that fat.
But the parent is THAT rude!

Hhmm...I wonder why the kid has other issues? I just can't figure it out; any ideas out there?

Dust Settling

2006-09-18T17:54:00.000-07:00

When the dust settles, what are you left with?

Old things
Unused items
Useless
Throw aways

Old frozen coffee
A forgotten coffee mug
Too big shorts
Garage kept dishes and vacuum

Strange how useless items can become so necessary to get rid of.

Control

2006-09-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

Control: To exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command.

The past couple of weeks have been a lesson in control. Constantly reminding myself that there are some things I can not control.

I can not control the way people choose to react to situations. When their reactions effect me, it is a serious problem for me. My first reaction is to do just that: REACT

I am working towards finding peace immediately when the situation happens. Not reacting in the moment is the key because in my work and personal life, I do not take myself out of the picture in order to reflect on the real problem until the reaction has already occurred. Then later on that day, I look back and state, "Boy, I wish I would have said..." or "I wish I would have... instead"

In the grand scheme of life, it is mind over matter. Better put by my fabulous roommate, Sorted, "I don't mind, and you don't matter."

I have been biting my tongue for three long days now, which is not good for a lesbian ;) After talking to my "Sees all sides" friend tonight over coffee and then dinner she said, "The same thing happened to me and sometimes people do that." The point is that everyone does it including me. So thinking outside of myself and seeing all sides with the shove of my friend, I can honestly say, "I don't mind, and you don't matter!"

Blue Whales are HUGE!

2006-09-03T05:57:00.000-07:00

Looking aroud myspace.com this morning, I found an interesting tidbit about blue whales. After further research, I found the source; however, it is not the original; regardless, I cited it out. Read on...

"The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one unloads, and you wonder why the ocean is so salty..."

by Duane G., 17 June 2003

This blew my mind (pun intended) because I no longer wanted to go swimming in the ocean EVER again... gross. So, as I stated before, I did some research. I located it on urbanlegends.com, and yes, it is a hoax.

Apparently, if it were true, the whale would have to "have testicles larger than the rest of its body to live up to its repuation."

The rest of the information is quite interesting, but why post someone else's writing. If you are interested, which I know some of you will be: http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_blue_whale.htm

As for me, I am grateful that it is not true. This lesbian does not need all that penis in the water with me.

Margaret Cho and the Key

2006-08-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

To begin with, thank you to all who commented on the last blog about "Crazy."

Lately, I think the following comment stated by Margaret Cho best says it:

"When people think the world of you, be careful with them."

I have been attempting a relationship for the past 7 or so months; basically, two weeks after "Crazy," this woman came into my life. I know, I know... way too soon.

She does "think the world" of me, but it is so hard to believe after the running of the bulls that happened all over my soul.

So much advice from so many people... SO MANY PEOPLE! I have to find the path that is right for me. Right now, all I am trying to do is sift through the bullshit for the truth.

While I sift, she patiently waits and does all she can do for me. It really is unbelievable.
1. Listens constantly which is the most important right now.
2. Holds me which is sometimes all I need.
3. Understands as best she can.
4. Tells me to cry when she knows that is what I need. (I hate crying.)

I will never know why "Crazy" did what she did, and I know that once I can let go of it and stop taking responsibility for her actions, I will heal.

Getting my brain to absorb the idea that it was not my fault that she lied is the key. That is a huge key for my delicate soul.

What would I tell the five year old me who is holding that huge key?

I would wrap her up in my arms, look her directly in the eyes, and say, "You did all you could do, baby. It is not your fault that she lied to you." I would then help her carry the key to the door of her new life.

Now, I think I have to force myself to believe in another because I have more to lose than to gain by remaining closed off. I don't want to wake up and wonder, "What if?"

She is beneath the soil.

2006-08-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

Ed. Note: If you decide to comment, please choose your words wisely; this is still an open wound. I am trying to find a way to heal.

The me that once was lies beneath the soil; she is dead, and I don't know that she will ever return.

The name "Wenchy" came from her. I call her Crazy now. My nickname used to be "Lady"; Crazy would say, "Lady, come lay down with me." Three years later my nickname gradually changed to Wenchy which should have been a foreshadowing to what was coming.

They say "Love is Blind;" if that is the case, than I was Helen Fucking Keller with a mix of Stevie Wonder because GOOD GOD I did not see it.

Crazy had a twin brother that died from a cocaine overdose in her arms bleeding from his mouth and nose. I could not listen to Dave Matthews band because that was his favorite. I could not listen to "Angel" by Sarah Mclaughlin because that was played at his funeral. We would never go to NYC because that was where he was burried. I could not bring it up to her Mother because she had already attempted suicide over the death and blamed Crazy for the death. Crazy had violent nightmares almost every night for the first three years of our relationship and would cry and shake in my arms. She threw up blood and could not eat for days. She had to give herself shots in the stomach with needles. Maintaing a job was too overwhelming as she did not sleep and would become physically ill. I suported her financially and emotionally for four years.

On January 12, 2006, I spoke to her Aunt and finally asked, "Does she have a twin brother?" A part of me knew the answer for years, and just couldn't believe it.

"No sweetheart. There is no brother. 'Crazy' told me four years ago that she had told you that and did not know how to fix it."

You start by confessing to the lie; not continuing it. I broke up with her the next day when she finally came home.

Crazy has since moved to Colorado with the second girl she cheated on me with. Mutual friends in our small lesbian community have started to find out the truth about the twin brother, the dead father, the dead mother, and on and on and on.

I am left in the after effects. I do not believe a word that comes out of anyone's mouth. Having a relationship with me at this point is impossible at best. I feel like I am changed forever. I try to laugh it off with jokes about her. I try to say that she is just crazy. The fact remains that I spent the last four years with her, supported her in every way, and was planning a move to Colorado with her to spend the rest of our life together. I wish I could heal. I wish I could believe people when they speak. I wish I could feel. I feel like the real me is beneath the soil in a shallow grave just trying to breath. Still just trying to breath after having been without the disaster for seven months.

TOP TEN THURSDAY

2006-08-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Top Ten Reasons One Should Stay Away From Educational Jobs:

10. The standardized test for the state drives everything done in the school.
9. Administration is socially promoted, kind of like the students.
8. Too many programs to educate with, unless we went to school 7 days a week and until 6pm.
7. Accountablity for teachers regardless of the type of students in one's classroom.
6. Teachers required to be educator, mom, dad, aunt, uncle, and sister's brother's second cousin twice removed.
5. Administrators are not on the same page with their staff or each other. "Wenchy, I think you should lower your expectations; you expect too much." Later on at the staff meeting, "We need to raise the bar so we can achieve greatness; you are the ones that can do it!"
4. Parents that not involved, have no working number, and give me the Papa Johns number like I need any pizza.
3. Parents that are so involved that they are calling the school board.
2. Children old enough to graduate sitting in middle school STILL, and crawling down the floor on their hands and knees like a damn dog, and telling me to "Fuck Off!"
1. Not every year is like this, and I will make it to the end. I had successes until now and it can't get any worse...

IT BETTER NOT, DAMMIT TO HELL!

It attacks!

2006-08-15T02:57:00.000-07:00

What attacks?
My damn brain every night when I fall asleep.

I don't dream of pregnancy, spiders, nakedness, snakes, or any other commonality.

Last night I fell asleep at 8:00- a rarity for me. Of course, I could not get any rest because all night I am beating up chicks. This morning, I looked it up in the dream dictionary and as expected, aggression means pent up sexual energy.

"Thank you Freud, but I am just fine sexually."

Why am I beating up two separate girls in my dreams all night last night? They are girls I know. I won't go into how I know them because it is a long, long story with much sorted drama and affair. Sorry to disapoint, but I am not one of those, at least not today.

Hey, I think I am starting to realize why I tried to eliminate them in my dream. Hhhmmm...

Maybe if one just thinks for long enough about a dream they can come up with why they had it. Damn lesbians!

Gratitude for Spiders

2006-08-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

Correction: Grattitude for a Spider

As it would have taken me weeks during my spare time to figure out the ins and outs of blog additives, Spider spent the last few hours making my blog something more to look at. Appearances are much in the delivery of what we encounter in life.

"It is a great ablity to conceal one's ability." Francois de La Rochefoucauld's quote explains my Spider best. He is modest and highly intelligent- a rare mix. Thank you Spider for my beautification.

My trip to... (Part Two)

2006-08-12T17:32:00.000-07:00

DELIVERANCE COUNTY

My delay in Atlanta was a bit like watching life pass in a bubble the more exhausted I became. Five hours later, I was finally taking off making my arrival in Louisiana at 1:45 AM.

I phoned the gentleman who was supposed to take me from the airport to the hotel, and he tells me to ask the flight attendant if I can ride with her because it is too late!

Too late?! And you want me to ask who????

So I approached her after the flight and Toothless Tanya tells me that she doesn't know if there is room. I am now stuck at an airport with one gate that they use (there was a whopping three gates to choose from) with no way to get to the hotel. I ended up asking the driver myself, and he agreed. The gentleman who refused to pick me up was his second cousin's brother's half wife. Ridiculous!

It is now 2:00am and I have to be up at 5:30am! Lovely.

Needless to say, when the alarm went off I wanted to blast it with a assault rifle!

I quickly got ready and attached the coffee IV so I could function as a presenter.

The head honcho's assistant picked me up from the hotel in the morning and low and behold this woman has a mullet. Now usually african american women have nice hair, but this woman had a mullet that would make David Bowie jealous, and I love me some David Bowie!

I had such a crush on him as a child. I would watch Labrynth many many times just to see him! Makes sense now since he looks female. But I digress...

The presentation went well just like everyone told me. Thank you for the encouraging words Spider and Sorted; you were right.

Lunch quickly came and the people that hired me got us Mcalisters. I am not familar with them, but they have some crack sweet tea which kept me going into the afternoon.

When some of the male participants returned from lunch, I asked them how their lunch was. They responded: "Good, but we decided that we want some extra tutoring." Ended of course with the low muffled laugh of a pervert!

Oh honey, let me tell you! When pigs like you fly! That will be the day!

Additionally, the evaluations they were required to fill out were on my looks instead of the training itself. The least they could have done was shown their intelligence with some descriptive adjectives instead of "...pretty, smart, and short." This is our education system at work.

My trip to...

2006-08-12T08:16:00.000-07:00

Deliverance Parish, Part One:

Ed. note: Outbound flight is prior to the unfolding of the terroist plot.

Outbound from Orlando to Atlanta I found my isle seat with two women. I will refer to the woman in the center seat, next to me as WW (WASP Woman) and the woman at the window seat as AA (Asian Arrogance).

WW opened the conversation as most flightees (pun intended) do with, "Where are you headed" speaking to AA. AA stated that she was going to "A-W-zona."

"Oh, ME TOO," WW said with rapture because she had now located her riding, eating, and waiting partner for the rest of the day. Poor thing. It turned out to be lucky for me as I was heading to LA instead of AZ.

The conversation continued as WW asked AA if she was going there to visit family or on vactation. And it begins...

"No, I go to coll-ej."

"Oh you are going to Arizona State; that is great!"

"No, I go to bible coll-ej"

DAMMIT TO HELL!!!!! I can feel myself beginning to set afire into a burst of damnation and sin.

WW states how lovely that is and tries to end the conversation, but our asian missionary decided this would be a great moment for her work to begin. We needed heaven and she was going to bring it to us.

"You go to church?" AA looks at both of us.

WW says, yes, but not often enough.

My turn.

Now, I grew up Southern Baptist; my father was Jesus Christ in the Easter Play, and my mother taught Sunday school. I went to the school that was located at my church for many years. An answer to this question is sticky at best.

"No, I am not... I don't... well, no."

AA decided it was time to give us gifts; she started digging through her bag, and out pops:

An "Our Daily Bread" in Korean.

WW kindly thanked her and started sifting through the bible as if she could understand it; I took it and put it in my presentation notebook that I was already trying to look busy with to avoid the conversation that was getting ready to take place.

AA started in with "God fog-ive all," "You ask fo fo-give and he give!"

I reviewed the same slide in my presentation 10 times while this went on.

Somewhere in this converstation, I overheard WW say that she had been in Key West on vacation. I thought, whoo hoo, some connection! She must be ok with my people, my family... me! And I can finally step in and change this conversation!

I looked at WW, "So, how did you enjoy your time in Key West?"

"It was nice, but there was a lot of those... you know... lesbians and gays."

I think my 'I am going to slice you into little bits and shove you into the above compartment' look let her know that what she had just said truly offended me.

I wanted to say, "Be careful who you say that to because you can not always tell who is gay," but I did not.

This is one of the downsides to being a femine lesbian. Because I do not have a mullet or wear a sportbra at all times, I am assumed to be hetero.

She attempted to compensate for the original statement by saying, "Not that I have a problem with them."

Right bitch, that is why you just said that there was a lot of them.

I countered her comment with, "Well, that is good that you don't have a problem with them."

Conversation ceased at that point.

All I kept thinking was, "Holy Mother of Jesus, We haven't even left the gate yet!"

First Day

2006-08-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

As a well educated educator once said, "Don't smile until Thanksgiving," today began my day of frowns and well... down right being a BITCH. Just as in a relationship, there is a honeymoon period where you can only assume who the issues might be; you know they're there, but you just can't find them. Kind of like lesbians, but I digress.

I teach 8th grade hormonals; however, in my room there is a rug that is very kindergarten but brightens the room quite a bit with its reds and blues. It says "Read" all over it; my hope has always been that it will remind them to do so. I don't know if it works, but what do I have to lose?

My last class of the day today, I walk into my room to find my 6ft. tall student laying on the rug avoiding the other 20 empty desks available. Time to set an example... Bitch On!

I asked him why he was laying on the rug instead of sitting at a desk; his response, "I thought that is what is was there for."

I wanted to say, "There is also 300 novels behind you for reading; are you utilizing those because that is what they are there for," but I didn't.

Maybe I should clarify that I want the 15 year olds in a desk when they enter my room on the first day.

Moral of the story: Rugs aren't always for appearance.

Nair removes more than hair!

2006-08-06T18:32:00.000-07:00

Dammit to hell.

That shit is strong! I think I could use it to remove battery crustations like our good friend Coke. Not much to say about it other than someone asking me today if I had been in a fight! Yes, I was in a fight with a bottle of Nair!

At work tomorrow looking like I am in an abusive relationship, and flying to Louisiana on Wednesday to train a room of 50 people who will probably think the same thing!

What bad Karma did I get? Maybe it is the fourth car I did not let in during traffic the other day?

Moral of the story: Be careful with Nair; that is some fierce shit!

Atlanta or Hotlanta?

2006-08-05T20:02:00.000-07:00

My work sent me to Atlanta for 5 days last week, and I have not been there since I was much younger. My only memory was

Stone Mountain and steep driveways. Apparently I was staying in the suburbs when I was younger because last week my experiences were the opposite spectrum.

A beautiful skyline, but when I got closer, much closer, all I saw were homeless souls. The city was a ghost town on Sunday when we arrived, and we learned the next day that much of the businesses, including restaurants, close at 6:00pm each evening. When I asked an employee of a local eatery, her response was

"GIRL! THERE ARE PIMPS AND CRACKHEAD EVERYWHERE; YOU WILL GET YO-SELF ROBBED!"
WTF!

There were people that disagreed with this statement throughout my stay in Atlanta, and that was only one person's opinion. My hope is that it is not true.

I had quite a few interesting stories throughout my stay, but the funiest is my MARTA moments.
For those of you who don't know,

MARTA is the public transportation that is kind of like an above ground subway. My first experience with this type of transportation was in San Francisco, and I handled it like a champ; this was completely different.
I only took it twice: leaving the airport to the hotel and leaving the hotel to the airport.

1st exciting Marta Moment:
As I exited the MARTA train, the door started to close swiftly; I moved as quickly as I could with my rolling suitcase and heavy ass laptop computer, and I did not make it!

BBBBBBBBEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP! LOUD AS SHIT! My bag is caught in the electric door; I am yanking on my bag; my bag is leaving without me! I broke free and almost ate the cement face first as I tripped. That's hot! Oh and I had an audience: three locals are laughing in the background.

2nd Marta Moment:
I am leaving the hotel, and I got to the MARTA station. They have an electronic "token" machine which seems pretty useful in theory. I put in a ten dollar bill. I pushed the button for one token, one way. The machine then spit out 9 extra tokens at the bottom for my change! I was pissed; I did not want 9 tokens; I have no intention of returning to Atlanta anytime soon. So, I decided to talk to a human once I got to the MARTA station located in the airport.
Strategically placed on her window is a sweet sign:

I know that I am going to get no where with her. I walked up to the counter anyway, explain the ten dollar bill story, futher state that I do not live here, and therefore have no use for 9 MARTA tokens. She says,
"Babygirl, those are dollars!"

All I can hear is my head is Napolean Dynamite, "IDIOT! GOD!"

Moral of the story: Don't assume.

1. Don't assume that a location is going to be great because everyone else likes it. It is not HOTLANTA in my perception.
2. Don't assume the electric doors are going to stay open longer
3. Don't assume that just because it is referred to as a "token," it is gold colored and circular; I will trade my MARTA tokens for dollar bills!

Sucked in...

2006-08-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

To the blogging world or black hole. I have been sucked in just like when a friend of mine said, "You should get a myspace!" I have just now come out of the coma that provided, and as it has been fun; something is lacking. Myspace is, for me, meeting the lesbians and unfortunately, the high school friends from many, many years ago I already know. This provides a place to expand or stay within the darkness if one so chooses. I hope this ride is more enjoyable than MySpace that stays on 60 Minutes for causing the defamation of the US' youth.